Love Lab
- With one hour of analysis Gottmen can tell with a 95% accuracy if a couple can will still be married in 15 years
- With 15mins he has a 90% success rate
- Gottmen reviews tapes and uses an equation to come to his conclusions. This would be conscious decision making
Thin Slicing: make decisions on a thin slice of knowledge. Rapid Cognition. This type is an example automated unconscious thinking. Thin slicing is what Gottmen does with a machine.
When couples argue and one says, “you have to admit, I’m getting better” In happier marriages the partner will acknowledge that they are getting better but in unhappier marriages they don’t support the fact that their partner is getting better
Measuring positive to negative emotion needs to be 5 to 1
Looking for a part tern easy to see which a couple describes how they met
§ The 4 Horsemen
1. Defensiveness
2. Stonewalling – more often men
3. Criticism – more often women
4. Contempt – most important of them all one or both partners showing this is the worse
Contempt: any statement made from a higher level. Trying to put the person on a lower level than themselves. For example, "your scum, you're a bitch" it's hierarchy, no gender difference
To me this sounds like common sense, if you partner is calling you scum and a bitch all the time then I would assume NO your marriage is not going to work out. Gladwell uses simple examples to make his points better understood, however he also goes into greater depth to show the complexity marriage would last, why would divorce rate be so high!
